I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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