guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
try to milk me bitch
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
