my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
So vagazzling was a success
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
