Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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