yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
