What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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