She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
