can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
