Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
