Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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