Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize