a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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