remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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