Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
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