I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize