Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
