The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
