So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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