i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
