I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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