this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
