Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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