i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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