That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
That accounts for only three of the penises
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
