is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
It's official drugs can't kill me
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
