Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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