Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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