I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
