On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize