Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
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