ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
