i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
