atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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