didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
