hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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