definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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