someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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