You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
