i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
