Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
