So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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