I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
