p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
That's when you crack a 10am beer
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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