'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
