I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize