If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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