life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
