Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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