Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
