Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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