no, he came in my armpit
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I wear drunk well.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
