ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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