well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i out mim tonsoeep
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