well I can't set my house on fire every night
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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