ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Randomize
