OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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