I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
