i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
