is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
