i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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