Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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