He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
