That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize